Hi! So, okay, a little about me.
As a child, I was always told I had a good imagination. Whether acting out precarious situations for my action figures and Matchbox cars to survive or just talking to myself about fictional goings-on loud enough for my parents to overhear. At the time, I didn’t know enough to point out that every child has a good imagination. People tend to forget that, their own having been dimmed for any number of reasons. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a safe and peaceful environment, and I never had the inclination, or anyone telling me, to be “more mature.” Not that you need to be immature to tell stories. But I think it helps not having voices, yours or anyone else’s, in your head calling it a waste of time to sit around daydreaming and making things up all the time.
That said, no matter how many ideas I came up with, well into adulthood I was really only writing in my head. “Why?” you might ask. Oh, no biggie. Just stunningly low confidence, combined with a debilitating ignorance of what writing actually is. When my first, early attempts at a novel didn’t exceed half a dozen pages before I would read back through them and decide they just weren’t good enough, it never occurred to me that even the greats don’t just fire up the computer and churn out their next bestseller in one sitting.
If only someone had told me.
Maybe I should’ve asked.
Instead, I worked in manufacturing. Everything from making signs, components for medical equipment, handles for airplane seats, and bearings for submarines to planning, scheduling, and/or supervising the making of those same bearings before graduating to complete ships for the United States Navy. (That last part makes me sound pretty important, but I assure you my mark on the shipbuilding industry was so small the people doing the actual work have never missed me.) And all the while I kept daydreaming when I could, plotting and otherwise developing stories I wasn’t sure I would ever write.
Sure, I’d produced some shorter stories over the years, but the first big one finally popped out about two thirds of the way through this aforementioned career after the company I was working for took a massive hit in the Great Recession and gave me what they termed a “permanent layoff” in 2009. Basically, “We don’t want to fire you, but…” I got a severance package that would last me a couple months. In the meantime, I aggressively searched for other work. And I started what would soon(ish) become I Chose Vengeance.
I say “popped out” mainly because the sudden drive to finally do it sort of took me by surprise. But I’d been living with the story since the winter of 2006/7, so although I don’t remember how long it took, I produced a draft with relative ease, especially considering it was my first. And since the new economy meant that virtually nobody was hiring, I certainly had the time. I ended up locking down another job—one that involved uprooting my family and moving an hour and a half away, but whatever—and all-in-all it was about two years before I published.
After that, I did what all self-published writers who also happen to be ignorant do: sat back and waited for the money an accolades to come rolling in.
When they didn’t? Well… I stuck to the club charter, and did what we do next: got down on myself and supposed it was never meant to be.
Heaven forbid we realize we have some agency. Sure, there’s a lot of luck involved, but luck, like inspiration, only finds you when you’re working.
After several years (and for reasons detailed in the Acknowledgments), I finally got to work on the first sequel, first revisiting I Chose Vengeance to refamiliarize myself with the world and where I’d left off—adding about thirty percent in the process, having realized with fresh eyes just how much was missing—and soon enough I had Bullet & Blade.
I’ve been writing steadily ever since.
Not that I subsist on my writing alone. That’s still a goal, and a whole other story besides.
But I’m constantly working on something, including my latest novel, almost complete, that I’m going to aggressively pursue publishing traditionally. If I’ve learned anything in all these years, it’s that I’m the kind of guy—the kind of writer, I suppose—who doesn’t want to do it all by himself. More like can’t do it all by himself. I’m only terrible at self-promotion because I don’t like talking about myself. I’m only terrible at talking about my work because I don’t like talking in general. And besides, there’s so much to this business that could be done so much better by so many people other than me. I’ll be thrilled to help where I can (just no self-promotion and no talking; just kidding; no I’m not), but no matter what they or anyone else says, writing will always be the best part. I’d like to focus as much as they’ll let me on that.
Anyway, thanks for visiting. Stay as long as you like. Check out my books, make a donation if you feel so inclined, and be sure to follow me on social. You’d be surprised what all those numbers—the follows and shares and likes—can do for us creative types trying to make a living on our art.
Of course, it means even more just knowing that people want to read my words, and are.
Otherwise, I’d still just be talking to myself.